im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
