need another drink. this is the easiest way
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
