So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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