I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
