the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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