I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
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