Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I smell stomach acid.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
