its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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