Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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