if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
