yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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