so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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