ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
