dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
