He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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