All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
