So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
