Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
