i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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