Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
im on a boat
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