He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
