I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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