If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
