I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
