Your face is a jimmy john
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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