my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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