you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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