Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
