my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize