I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize