This girl is more easily done than said...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
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