Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and she was petting her beer can
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
