If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he laminated a picture of his dick.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
