Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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