This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
