Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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