Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
