i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize