Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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