Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i think my tv is drunk
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
