i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
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dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
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everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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