I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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