i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
ugly people sure do ruin things
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize