if i can run in heels then i can drive
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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