I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
