Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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