it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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