so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
