YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
