ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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