How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
