puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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