i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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