She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.