theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle