i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
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There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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