His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
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I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
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You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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