just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
