I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
