I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
