you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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