My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize