That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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